Sunday, January 07, 2007

A learning experience

Things I learned today by going to the Glendale Galleria:

1. In order to drive in California, I'm going to need two things: sunglasses (so I'll be needing to get contacts or prescription sunglasses) and patience.

2. California highways are huge and confusing. If I am going to drive in the left-most lane, I need to learn how to cross 5 lanes of traffic quick, fast, and in a hurry.

3. I live near mountains and valleys. Yes, they are pretty. Get over it. Pay attention to the road (see number 2).

4. It is much easier to find clothing that fits you if, before you leave, you look yourself straight in the eye (a mirror helps with this) and say, "Elisabeth," (you can use your own name, it'll probably be more convincing if you do), "you are no longer a size 10 and a medium. You are a size 14 and a large. If you bring size 10 (or even size 12) pants into the fitting room, they will not fit. Accept it. Move on. And medium button-down shirts? Not happening. They will pull in the bust. Medium knit shirts are okay, though. Medium underwear? No. You do not have a medium-sized ass anymore. Maybe, when you finish graduate school and you can take the time to eat properly and maybe even exercise and you do not have a toxic concentration of stress hormones ravaging your body telling it to maintain fat reserves, you will go back to being a size 10," (you can leave that last sentence out if it's not applicable), "but, it's not happening in the next couple of weeks. Face it. Embrace it. Bring on size 14 jeans."

5. If you want to buy a garter belt, you should go to Frederick's of Hollywood not Victoria's Secret.

6. Frederick's of Hollywood does have tasteful, sedate things.

7. Or not.

8. For sheer self-amusement, nothing beats wandering around the mall carrying an Eddie Bauer bag and a Frederick's bag (yes, I wear flannel and cotton t-shirts with modest v-necks, but what am I wearing underneath that?).

John has gone to a conference in Seattle so I have had to amuse myself today. It's a little odd being here when he's not, but it does make it seem more like home. I leave for Chicago tomorrow. I'm trying to prepare myself for that, mentally, but it's difficult. Here, I can relax and sit on my balcony and knit. There, I must work, work, work, and even if I had a balcony I couldn't sit on it without getting frostbite (although it's been relatively warm there, recently--it's creepy). But, it's not forever. It's not even for that long, in the grand scheme of things. It helps if I keep telling myself that.

2 comments:

  1. Shudder, twitch, shudder, twitch. You are a brave, brave woman. You not only went to a mall. You went to one in CA!! Garter belt? {nudge, nudge, wink, wink} Good for you--keep 'em guessing!

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  2. Michelene2:06 PM

    Elizabeth(I can't spell either)-- I thought I was being polite by following Norma's precendent and not typing the name of the retail chain, and relevant by giving pertinent information for knitters wanting to knit hats for Children's Hospital.
    Apparently the university doesn't hand out manners with them thar PH of D's.

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